


Hopelessly and Chaotically

by ChippewaFalls



Series: Reasons [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Doomed Relationship, F/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChippewaFalls/pseuds/ChippewaFalls
Relationships: Regulus Black/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Reasons [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062869
Kudos: 2





	Hopelessly and Chaotically

The rain slides down the colored glass until it clings to the bottom of the pane. Slowly, it finds itself being pulled down toward the earth, yet holds as best it can. 

But then, too much of it decides that falling is inevitable and so, finally, it drips.

In the same way, the crystals seem to melt from the chandeliers hanging about the grand ballroom. They light the somber space with a low ember that leaves the eyes of those wandering beneath lifeless and dull. 

Apart from yours.

Your eyes always have a glimmer about them. A boyish flicker that hasn't yet been squelched by the horrors and fears they’ve taken in.

I've spent too much time flying between two armies, passing secrets and lies with nothing but emptiness awaiting me. Living in isolation, surrounded by allies I could not trust.

But then I found you. 

Sitting out in the gardens while the rest of them met to plot and scheme. 

Uninterested in their battleplans. Untethered to their ideas of supremacy or domination. 

Simply wanting your life to have meaning. Wanting your parents to be proud. Wanting your choices to matter.

Only to now realize you’d made all the wrong ones.

And at first, our nights together meant nothing beyond the escape they offered. Whatever connection we shared, I was able to push it aside to reserve space in my mind for matters of consequence. 

And I avoided your brother’s stare when I fly to The Order. Because those eyes look too much like yours and too much like disappointment. 

I tear myself from your side to grow closer to The Dark Lord though his favor only fills me with loathing. 

And I lament the months before, when my heart had remained unmoved no matter your mischievous grin or whispered affections. Back when I still had it tucked away to a depth I was certain rendered it safe and unreachable. 

Back when I felt like that raindrop, doing all I could to hold tightly to the window pane. 

My life was simpler without the childish follies you got me lost in. The fantasies of being young and free with the rest of our lives just beyond the horizon. That spark of rebellion that believed we could tell our fates our endings. 

I find your steel blue eyes through the fog and the world splits itself in two. Like a pomegranate torn apart, spilling its seeds and hope for a future all over the ground to be trampled on.

I can feel myself being pulled down - knowing none of it matters in the end. Knowing our futures are doomed and that our feelings are merely fodder for those who wish to do us harm. 

And still. I choose to let go of the ledge and fall. Hopelessly. Chaotically. In love with you. 

Because I may not choose my end. 

And I may not control my fate.

But I refuse to accept that I’m meant to endure the brokenness of this war alone.


End file.
